Motherhood Is Weird Business
My baby goes to Kindergarten in the fall and this morning was his Kinder evaluation. Levi started out very excited but when we got to school, he hid under his jacket and got super nervous. I already feel the tightness in the back of my throat at the thought of my youngest going to school. Goodness gracious, I’m gonna need a couple days under the covers come August. There are days when I’m fully excited to enter into the next phase of life. I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for over a decade. Though I’ve worked jobs here and there to help our family stay afloat, this business is my step towards branching out and doing something for me; something that I find fulfilling in a different way. However, I feel the deep emotional divide between wanting to move into a season of more independence from “little kids” and wanting desperately to cling to their small hands and beg for time to stop moving. Isn’t that mystery of life though? Today I’m holding my kids with open hands, taking deep breaths of gratefulness as I embrace this bittersweet moment. I welcome all these wonderful and sometimes tough changes today, but I’m definitely going to expect a few days of grief when I wave goodbye to my last Kindergartener in the fall. I am excited to move into new territory with bigger kids and more freedom to work to invest in my career. But I’m going to be sure and hear the inner “mom voice” when it’s feeling sad about changes, and address it with care because that’s the only way to move toward growth. If you have a mom-friend who’s about to send a little one to school, stop and give her a hug. Mom-life is confusing business.